“Life and love are life and love. Live and let live, love and let love…”:-)

N.B. Ce LONG post m’a été inspiré par le film “Lady Chatterley”, récemment revu, réalisé par Pascale Ferran en 2006, avec 3 excellents comédiens: Marina Hands, Jean-Louis Coulloc’h & Hippolyte Girardot – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR4xaF9m1E0

Dans son roman, D.H. Lawrence expose l’amour dans son sens le plus large, comme le sentiment le plus universel. Il n’y pas de critères pour le définir, le déterminer ou le réduire à une simple, banale, ou irrationnelle attraction physique, mais une alchimie mystérieuse, saisie différemment par chacun(e) de nous lorsqu’elle nous subjugue, et là, il ne suffit pas de se laisser “soumis”, de nous oublier et de profiter de la situation. Une relation amoureuse devrait nous permettre de nous ouvrir l’esprit, et elle doit “couler” comme un ruisseau de montagne dans lequel nous pourrions boire – sans retenue, sans culpabilité, où les émotions et les frissons du corps deviennent indissociables de ceux du cœur. En général, 2 partenaires essaieront de se compléter réciproquement, ils arrivent à combler leurs manques respectifs, en se réveillant à la vie, ils s’inspirent du désir et finalement l’envie de vivre pleinement. Selon D.H. Lawrence, l’amour n’est qu’une autre forme de conversation, dans les cas les plus heureux – un dialogue où les mots entrent en action au lieu d’être prononcés… 🙂
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motto:”L’amour est la fleur de la vie qui fleurit de façon inattendue et sans loi, et doit être cueillie là, où elle se trouve, et appréciée pour la brève heure de sa durée. La vie et l’amour sont la vie et l’amour, vis et laisse vivre, aime et laisse-toi aimer! L’obscénité n’intervient que lorsque l’esprit méprise et craint le corps, et le corps déteste et résiste à l’esprit…”(DH Lawrence – “l’Amant de lady Chatterley”)

Voici une vérité universelle depuis la nuit des temps: c’est l’amour qui nous fait vivre, qui accueille et qui offre, qui donne et s’abandonne, qui accepte et protège, qui partage et se réjouit, qui existe et nous aide à exister, aussi.Nous ne pouvons pas vivre en paix avec nous-mêmes et avec le monde si nous n’avons pas une vie intime épanouie, heureuse. Freud a eu une intuition géniale sur son importance et son influence sur notre vie: l’instinct sexuel est aussi fort que la faim ou la soif, impossible de l’annuler ou de l’ignorer, même s’il est parfois “occulté – mais à quel prix?!… Névroses, angoisses, et troubles divers causés par les frustrations sexuelles. L’affection ou l’amour entre un homme et une femme amoureux, attirés réciproquement n’a aucun sens s’ils ne le “concrétisent” pas. L’amour platonique ne nous suffit pas pour avoir un esprit équilibré, clair, serein et toutes les études médicales sont catégoriques: les personnes qui ne sont pas aimées “concrètement” s’enfoncent lentement, mais sûrement dans la timidité et le désespoir ou dans la méchanceté et la rancœur vis-à-vis des autres. La sérénité intime nous assure une tranquillité d’esprit et une harmonie qui se reflètent dans toutes nos actions personnelles ou nos activités professionnelles, et notre santé physique en dépend également…

Faire l’amour est art et création à la fois, mais en mortifiant nos émotions et nos envies, nous allons contre notre nature et notre volonté, donc contre nous-mêmes! L’acte d’amour devient synonyme d’épanouissement et de joie s’identifiant à la vie-même qui est justement “création”. Si le besoin de se reproduire suffisait à notre sexualité, les couples seraient déjà certains de leur avenir dès la première naissance, mais soyons lucides et réalistes: il n’en est rien! Les statistiques sont formelles: de nombreux couples se séparent après une ou plusieurs naissances, tandis que d’autres – sans enfants, restent parfaitement solides, unis. L’explication est simple: notre vie intime est joie, bonheur et plaisir lorsque la fonction reproductrice est liée ou connectée à un profond et authentique désir d’aimer et d’être aimé. C’est vrai que l’acte d’amour peut paraître un difficile “ars amandi”(art d’aimer) – surtout pour les hommes qui se croient souvent “maîtres” ou “experts” en la matière, mais souvent ce n’est que de la frime! 🙂 Mais qu’importe, du moment que les 2 partenaires communiquent, dialoguent, sont sur la même fréquence d’attraction réciproque?! On double son plaisir quand il est partagé… 🙂

Conclusion:“Le seul alchimiste capable de tout changer en or est l’amour physique – l’Unique sortilège contre la mort, la vieillesse, la vie routinière. L’AMOUR se vit au PRÉSENT, ici et maintenant – autrement, il n’a pas de sens, car il ne s’est pas égaré dans le passé et il maintient l’espoir de l’avenir…”(Anaïs Nin) – Qu’en pensez-vous, SVP?… Merci d’avance! 🙂

images from http://www.allocine.fr

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N.B. This LONG post has been inspired by the movie “Lady Chatterley”(shot in 2006), directed by Pascale Ferran, that I’ve recently watched again, with 3 excellent actors: Marina Hands, Jean-Louis Coulloc’h & Hippolyte Girardot – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR4xaF9m1E0

In his novel, DH Lawrence presents love in its broadest meaning, as the most universal feeling. There are no criteria to define, to identify or to reduce it to a simple, ordinary, irrational physical attraction, it’s a mysterious alchemy, differently understood by each of us whenever it overpowers us, and there, it’s not enough to let us “overwhelmed”, to forget ourselves and to take advantage of the situation. A love relationship should allow us to open up our minds and “to flow” like a mountain stream, where we could “drink” with no restraint, with no guilt, where emotions and thrills of the body become inseparable from those of the heart. In general, both partners try to complete each other, they get to fill in their mutual “gaps”, they wake up to life, being inspired by their lust, and eventually, by the desire to live fully. According to D.H. Lawrence, love is just another way of conversation, in the happiest case, a dialogue where words get into action, instead of being pronounced… 🙂
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motto:”Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration. Life and love are life and love. Live and let live, love and let love! Obscenity only comes in when the mind despises and fears the body, and the body hates and resists the mind.”(D.H. Lawrence – Lady Chatterley’s Lover)

Here’s the universal truth known since the dawn of time: love makes us live, welcomes and offers, gives and abandons itself, accepts and protects, shares and rejoices, exists and it also helps us to exist. We can’t live in peace with ourselves and with the world if we don’t experience a fulfilled and happy intimate life. Freud had such a brilliant intuition about its importance and its influence over our entire life: the sexual instinct is as strong as hunger or thirst, impossible to cancel or to ignore, even though it’s sometimes “hidden” – but always with negative consequences: neuroses, anxiety, various disorders caused by sexual frustration. Love or fondness between a man and a woman in love who are attracted to each other are meaningless if they don’t “wrap” it up. Platonic love is not enough to keep a balanced, clear, quiet mind and all medical studies have been positive and categorical: people who are not “concretely” loved, sink slowly but surely into shyness and despair, or wickedness and grudge against the others. Intimate serenity provides us peace of mind and harmony, both reflected all over our personal actions or professional activities, and our physical health relies upon it, as well…

Love making is both art and creation, but if we mortify our emotions and our lust, we go against our own nature and our will, therefore, against ourselves. The act of love becomes synonymous of fulfillment and joy which is both life itself and “creation”. If the entailment to reproduce ourselves could be sufficient to our sexuality, couples would be sure about their future, right after the birth of their first child, but let’s be clear and realistic: it’s just an illusion. Recent statistics have revealed that many couples have split after one or more births, while others – with no kids, are perfectly solid and united. The explanation is simple: our intimate life turns into joy, happiness and pleasure if the reproductive function is linked or connected to a deep and genuine desire to love and to be loved. It’s true that the act of love may seem a tough “ars amandi”(art of loving) – especially for men who often feel “masters” or “experts”, but they simply show off or brag about it… 🙂 Who cares, as long as the 2 partners communicate, interact, dialogue, and are on the same wavelength of mutual attraction?!… Long story, short: it’s double pleasure whenever shared… 🙂

Conclusion:“The only alchemist able to turn everything into gold is physical love – THE Unique spell against death, old age, routine life. LOVE must be lived and experienced in the PRESENT, this very moment, here and now, otherwise it makes no sense, because it hasn’t gotten lost in the past and it upholds the hope of the future…”(Anaïs Nin) – What do YOU think, please?… Thanx in advance! 🙂
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bonus: Faith Hill & Tim McGraw in Paris – Let’s Make Love… 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw1aDkr2Z5E

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About Mél@nie

https://myvirtualplayground.wordpress.com/about/ Mélanie Bedos-Toulouse @ Facebook

Posted on 8 June 2015, in melanie. Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. Daca ar trebui sa formulez in cateva cuvinte impresia despre postarea ta, as spune ca vad anumite concluzii stiintifice ale lui Freud, imbracate in frumoase vesminte de critica literara. Regret faptul ca textul nu este in limba romana, pentru a putea simti pe deplin sensul si valoarea estetica, a cuvintelor tale. Ca iubitor de poezie, am reflexul de a smulge cuvantului cele mai subtile semnificatii de forma si fond. In cazul de fata fondul textului imi este accesibil, dar de forma lui nu ma pot bucura pe deplin, datorita cunostintelor limitate de limba engleza si franceza. Relatia dintre sentiment, sexualitate, stare fizica si psihica a fost intens abordata, in stiinta si arta, de-a lungul timpului. Interconectarea lor este indubitabila, iar Sigmund Freud, a sintetizat aceasta relationare, intr-o forma asemanatoare formulelor matematice. Pretuiesc mult opera lui Freud, deoarece nimeni nu a reusit sa coboare atat de adanc in interiorul fiintei umane, cum a facut-o el. Pe blogul meu exista o mica poezie, care se numeste “Antiplatonica” si care se termina cu urmatoarele doua versuri: “Caci trupul tau e rima / Din urma versului divin.” Cred ca este cea mai buna concluzie personala pentru tema articolului tau. In alta ordina de idei, acest articol mi-a dat posibilitatea sa-mi lamuresc enigma “conectarii” celor doua bloguri care-mi apartin. Urmarind (numeroasele) comentariile am remarcat ca ai o relatie (virtuala) veche cu Francis. Este o persoana de care ma simt apropiat si caruia i-am spus despre pasiunea mea literara. Cand am venit cu fotografiile in “playgroud”, nu m-am gandit la “like”-uri (blogul foto are un trafic minimal, iar poezia, aproape inexistent) ci la faptul ca poti gasi acolo o bucatica din Romania, iar asta ti-ar putea face placere. Imi plac calatoriile! Pentru mine apasarea acelui “like”, este un mic simbol ca vreau sa te insotesc prin destinatiile propuse de tine si sa incerc sa inteleg gandurile transmise, bineinteles, cu limitarile impuse de engleza si franceza. Salutari cordiale de la Snagov, si sper sa mai “vorbim”, din cand in cand!

    • multumesc pentru acest comentariu interesant si la obiect, apreciez sincer timpu’ acordat… te rog sa-ti verifici inboxu’ la adresa-ti prezenta aici, în panou’ meu de control… 😉 o duminica senina si pe curând! 🙂

      • Iti multumesc ca ai tradus textul pentru mine! Este un efort pentru care iti raman dator. Fondul este acelasi cu cel deslusit de mine, dar acum i-am “vazut” si fata. Este un articol valoros, care a necesitat timp si munca. Blogging-ul este o treaba serioasa pentru tine, chiar daca ii spui “my playground”! Din acest motiv ai success cu blogul tau. Ar fi interesant pentru mine, in ce limba ai gandit articolul? Adica, gandurile tale in forma incipienta si intima, in ce limba se materializeaza in mintea ta (in ce limba vorbesti cu tine insuti)?

        • cu bucurie si cu placere, deci NU ai de ce sa-mi ramâi “dator”, O.K. 🙂 ref la “blogging”, te rog sa ma crezi ca desi “serios”(te citez!), ma amuz far’ sa planific vreun post, d-aia e un soi de “melting pot”… cât despre limbile în care gândesc, de la 8-9 ani în engleza, iar de la 14-15, în franceza, doar socotesc în româna… de fapt, mi-e usor, simplu si chiar natural sa trec de la una la alta, uneori mai apar spaniola si italiana… 🙂

  2. Pas entièrement d’accord avec Anais Nin concernant l’amour physique, je ne pense pas que ce soit le seul alchimiste.

  3. I left a word out of the first sentence of my previous comment which, I fear, left a harsher impression than I intended. What I meant to say was “I’ve long felt that statistics SHOW what other people do,” so I apologize if the omission made it seem as if “J’Accuse” you falsely of a major offense. One Dreyfus Affair in France is enough! 😦

    • NO problem, Sir, it’s just net communication between 2 or more virtual people who have never met in real life, hence misunderstandings now and then, therefore: you don’t need to apologize… I’m serious. Émile Zola might have confirmed my statement… 🙂

  4. Re “Recent statistics,” I’ve long felt that statistics are what other people do, and are of little or no relevance in persuading me what I should believe or do. Like this quote says, “Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.” Not that I’m accusing you of having leaned on any lampposts lately! 🙂

    • thanx for stopping by and for your direct comment, Mr Muse… I do appreciate your visits @ my playground and this blogpost has been kinda “test”… 😉 btw, I’m just a “dilettante générale assumée”, and as long as you “accuse” me virtually only, it’s O.K. 🙂

  5. Aici sunt multe bălării (=flori sălbatice, dacă vreți!) cu care nu rezonez, dar apreciez mult sinceritatea.

  6. ”L’amour est la fleur de la vie…” – atât de adevărat și frumos spus. Aș mai adăuga că această floare trebuie îngrijită de doi grădinari: ea și el, cu aceeași pasiune, dedicație, în deplină libertate. Într-adevăr, instinctul sexual care nu trebuie ignorat (ci educat, rafinat și… descoperită esența sa spirituală), este parte din iubire, aducând contribuția sa la mulțumirea sufletească, seninătate. Și da, comunicarea, dialogul este foarte important. Minunat articol, Melanie, mulțumesc pentru aceste momente de armonie. O zi minunată!

    • mii de multumiri pentru vorbele-ti generoase si timpu’-ti pretios acordat acestui subiect, Geta… ❤ aceeasi urare de la mine pentru tine – cu bucurie, cu placere si cu sincere gânduri…

  7. I’m a huge fan of Lawrence… his novels and his poetry strike deeply with me. Anais Nin, by the way, is another favourite. I guess it is unsurprising since every facet of love, the condition of love its physical and its emotional the eros love and the agape love are the enduring fascination of my life. Long live love for love is the heart of the human condition.

  8. You have a passionate point of view. 😉 The film looks beautiful.

    • well, just a few normal, human(e) and common sense ideas, inspired by this realistic statement:”Obscenity only comes in when the mind despises and fears the body, and the body hates and resists the mind.” 🙂

      yeah, the movie is splendid as the subject matter has been approached with refinement, subtlety, delicacy…

  9. I’ve read the book and seen the movie. I tried to keep an open mind for both, but still that Puritanical thought that “sex is something filthy… that you save for the person you love” creeps into my mind. I can’t help it. It’s the way I was raised. No judgements on anyone else. Like DH Lawrence said “Live and let live. Love and let love.” But hey, the monastic lifestyle does work for some people! 🙂

    • I did get your point, Melissa… 🙂 even though I don’t agree with certain choices or decisions people make, I always respect them… you may have read @ my “about”: I don’t hold any absolute truth, I don’t try to impose myself, to give lessons, to prove or to show (off) anything, both virtually or/and in real life… et volià! 🙂

      • It’s quite alright! I didn’t think that you were preaching… I was just offering an alternative point of view 🙂

  10. Wow, just amazing. This is very beautifully written, and deeply filled with beauty, common sense and sensitivity. Thanks Melanie.

  11. Well done!

  12. Vive l’amour! I probably have not said this correctly in French, but thought it captured the essence of your post.

    Couldn’t agree with you more. See my post, “Sex is Highly Underrated.” February 27th 2013

  13. I didn’t feel the post longer; actually I felt that it was like reading so many aspects of love condensed in a few paragraphs in what seemed no time. Certainly it’s so universal that despite being myself from another culture and civilization I think I’ve experienced everyone of your words. Tiempo de amar… gracias Melanita ^_^

    • con mucho gusto, FR… I’ve kept my word and promise: I did write a blogpost about physical love – vast and delicate subject… 🙂 el tiempo y la hora del amor están para siempre, olé… 🙂
      * * *
      Françoise Hardy – Le Temps de l’Amour… 🙂
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYVXUvMtHI

      • I love that song, I have it in my list of favorites already a good time, since you shared it with me, along with L’Amour est bleu, Wicked Game and the melodies you make me discover, thanks for that gift d^_^b

        I feel quite flattered that you remembered your comment at my post. Your words about love are delicate and to me are absolutely true, and I share that point of view that considers it a natural part of life, I’m going to read it more times, it’s the kind of article where you find more and more thoughts. Gracias mil!

        • muchas gracias à ti por tu generoso comentario, FR, sabes que que me gusta compartir… 🙂 ah, este blogpost es un “test” o “una provocación”(LOL!), tambien, para averiguar quién realmente leerme y los otros – “cazadores de tráfico”(LOL-bis!) solamente… 😉
          * * *
          aquí está una canción bonita y dulce que escuché antes, las palabras son sencillas, pero vienen desde el corazón… ❤

          Axelle Red – Sensualité… 🙂
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXKkxZ7U-lo

  14. I took DH Lawrence in my English college course many moons ago!