no matter what we do…:-)

motto:“The only way to avoid pissing people off is to do nothing important or interesting.”(Oliver Emberton)

N.B. this post has been inspired by a note from a friend who has recently had unpleasant comments @ her facebook page… I’d already mentioned something similar @ my “about”: I don’t hold any absolute truth, I don’t try to impose myself, to give lessons, to prove or to show off anything, both virtually or/and in real life. I quote an “old” friend:”take me, accept me or leave me alone, but remember this: if you leave me, it’s gonna be your loss, not mine!” well, once, we used to hear about ‘the struggle of (social) classes’, but these past years, it’s turned into ‘the struggle of virtual clicks’: welcome to the realm of permanent comparison, where ‘craving’ first runs through the image of the ‘quantified ego’, characteristic of a society obsessed with numerical evaluation…

according to psychologists, people who drop unpleasant or nasty comments often hide a great deal of shadow – chronic narcissism, loneliness, family tensions, various frustrations, thus stressed-out in real life… they suffer mostly from a lack of self-esteem and the social network they use acts as an ‘interactive prozac’ – therefore, we must watch everything in perspective and ignore their fake “super-power” over us… no matter what we do, we won’t be able to please everyone and to be liked or accepted by everyone… BUT guess what: this is entirely natural, and no need to justify ourselves. All we can do is to remain authentic, to improve ourselves and to be useful, ’cause the growing number of “haters” always means that we’ve been doing important or interesting ‘stuff’… long story, short: give up your ‘craving’ to be liked – you’re not a facebook status or a blog-post: you’re a HUMAN BEING! 🙂 bonus:

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motto:”La seule façon d’éviter de faire ‘suer’ les gens est de ne rien faire d’important ou d’intéressant.”(Oliver Emberton)

N.B. ce post m’a été inspiré par un message d’une amie qui a eu des comments désagréables @ sa page-facebook… j’avais déjà précisé quelque chose à ce sujet @ mon “about”: Je ne détiens aucune vérité absolue, je n’essaie pas de m’imposer, de donner des leçons, de prouver ou de montrer quoi que ce soit, à la fois virtuellement ou dans la vie réelle. Je cite une “ancienne” amie:”accepte-moi ou fiche-moi la paix(oublie-moi!), mais rappelle-toi ceci: si tu t’en vas, c’est toi qui vas le regretter, pas moi!” 🙂 à une époque, on parlait de “la lutte des classes”, mais ces dernières années, c’est plutôt “la lutte des clics virtuels”: bienvenue au royaume de la comparaison permanente, où l’envie passe d’abord par l’image du “moi quantifié”, caractéristique d’une société obsédée par l’évaluation chiffrée…

selon les psychologues, les personnes qui laissent des comments désagréables ou méchants, cachent souvent une grande part d’ombre – narcissisme chronique, solitude, tensions familiales, frustrations diverses, donc très stressées dans la vie réelle… elles souffrent surtout d’un manque d’estime de soi et le réseau social qu’elles fréquentent agit comme un “prozac interactif”, du coup, il faut tout relativiser et ignorer leur faux “super-pouvoir” sur nous… peu importe ce qu’on fait, on n’arrivera jamais à plaire à tout le monde, et à se faire aimer ou accepter… MAIS au fait, c’est tout à fait normal, et pas besoin de se justifier. Tout ce qu’on peut faire est de rester authentique, de s’améliorer et de se rendre utile, car le nombre croissant des gens qui nous détestent signifie tjs qu’on fait des choses intéressantes ou importantes… conclusion: renonce à ton besoin viscéral de te faire aimer ou accepter – t’es pas un post de facebook ou de blog: t’es un ÊTRE HUMAIN! 🙂   


About Mél@nie Mélanie Bedos-Toulouse @ Facebook

Posted on 6 January 2017, in melanie. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. Wonderful post Melanie. It’s sad that there are so many lonely haters who have to make others miserable – to feel better about themselves. Delete, delete, delete! 🙂

  2. Sorry to hear your friend suffered this. I had a few unpleasant comments left on my blog just recently, too… Not from any WordPress members, I just ignored and trashed them… People who feel they have to hurt others this way are best not rewarded by biting back. It only feeds their narrow world with satisfaction.

    Excellent thoughts on this, Melanie. Love and Blessings your way, Sue

  3. Déjà, ne pas oublier:”don’t feed the troll!” – cela fera des gens désagréables en moins! Bonne soirée, Mo

  4. Total de acord! Să fim noi înșine și să-i dăm încolo pe cârtitori! 😀 La mulți ani, Melania! Un 2017 cu sănătate și bucurii – pentru tine și cei dragi!

  5. Melanie, you have no idea how much this means to me. I think many need to here this. Merci my friend!

  6. I agree wholeheartedly! It is so important to remain true to ourselves – and not let others batter our self-esteem.

  7. So very true… there are way more important things than just being liked. Good post.

  8. Good point Melanie. It is a matter of respect.

  9. I cannot imagine what shallow lives allow the time to post unpleasant comments on a FaceBook timeline. It absolutely infuriates me. I have several friends who have suffered in this way and my youngest daughter, then aged 14 was reduced to a gibbering wreck by classmates bullying her on Facebook. I had to move her school. Now, aged 21 and in her final year of a Fine Arts degree, she wants to be an Art Therapist and I imagine some of those she will help will also have been bullied and hurt in this way. I loved this post, I send your friend best wishes and I agree with every word xxx

  10. bien d’accord avec ton texte… bonne journée!

  11. Je profite de mon passage chez toi pour te souhaiter une belle année 2017! 🙂 Bises!

  12. I haven’t yet had a nasty comment of Facebook, but, yes, we certainly are more than a Facebook status.

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