if we have truth within, can it also be noticed externally?!…

Could you make the difference between lying and hiding the truth – omitting to tell it?…

For most people, the slightest lie is unacceptable, distorting reality or inventing a story is absolutely out of question. But what about the one by omission? For others, this is not really a lie, since they haven’t told it, therefore, one does not lie, one just ‘forgets’ to mention something. Thus, hiding, not telling the truth is not necessarily lying or is it lying by omission? To lie is an action and to hide the truth is an omission. To solve this semantic problem, those who use real elements to make you figure out fake things are deceivers. Each lie is meant to dissimulate reality, but liars voluntarily choose to hide it, creating an image of it that serves their own interests. What’s most overwhelming(like a daily burden!) about hiding a truth is that one is “forced” to keep on lying and hiding it.
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photos from National Geographic magazine…

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Yes, one can deceive family, relatives, friends, etc – without lying to them, as different causes can generate this phenomenon, lack of self-esteem is at the top of the list. Whenever one does not reckon oneself as good as the others, the temptation is strong to give oneself a false over-evaluation, a false self-image, in order to avoid a false self-evaluation. And then, there is also the desire to control reality and change the truth, but this “formula” can’t work for long. As soon as we’ve found out the hidden truth, the worst pain comes from lying which is trapped into the treachery, and it will cause a “volcanic eruption” of negative emotions to the mislead one, setting an irrecoverable distance between the 2 individuals. To me, once my trust is betrayed, respect has also taken a deep blow and has flown away – for good. According to Kant, it’s necessary to defend the universality of the duty of truth: first of all – not lying to oneself, and afterwards, study philosophy which is the love of truth. 🙂
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P.S. This post has been inspired by a recent conversation with an “old” friend… 🙂

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About Mél@nie

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Posted on 14 August 2017, in melanie. Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. Deception by omission amounts to the same as lying; it is being dishonest and withholding the truth, only in more devious manner. Some people omit a few words in a sentence and distort the truth drastically. Liars can be very dangerous.

  2. I know a man who says lying by omission is okay. But aren’t you still lying, I think. Well, conversations with old friends can spark interesting topics! 🙂

  3. Both lies damage the integrity of the relationship. I believe that people are generally good, yet infallible. I also believe people can change. Fear is another common motivator. in general, once a person has broken the trust, it will take a huge effort on their part to show they can be trusted again. Any lessening of the severity or failure to act would find me distancing me from that person. Some people are so crafty at deception that their lies seem believable. This type of person has no place in my life. I would always question whether or not they are telling the truth and wonder if my perception of them is correct. I don’t need this type of person in my life. Now cheating is another story. A person who cheats cannot be trusted to not cheat again. Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame on me. This would apply to personal, business or intimate relations.

    • Mrs P, thanx for your elaborated comment… all seems nice – in theory(virtually!), but in practice(real life!), we both know it’s often completely different… this post has also been inspired by a recent personal experience: I’ve been lied to – by “omission”, and after I told my close ones about “it”, they were puzzled and baffled, they just couldn’t believe I’d been so naive and trustful – especially at my age… but that short “episode” already belongs to the past, where I never return, and it’s been another lesson for the future… well, even though I’ve been “fooled”(intentionally!), I do believe that lying to oneself for years is far worse than lying to others…
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      @”Fool me once…” – to me, it’s the first and the last time, as I’ve already mentioned: once my trust is betrayed, respect has also taken a deep blow and has flown away – for good.

      • Agreed on lying to oneself being worse… even if no one ever finds out… the person knows and has to live with it.

        • yeah, it’s their choice to keep on living in a “vicious circle” or a cage, kinda “self-punishment”… long story, short: anyone who takes advantage of someone’s absolute trust, candor and unconditional generosity, has no integrity, decency and self-respect…

  4. I think that intent has a lot to do with it. The truth will out, but if it is meant to hurt, than best left unsaid.
    Leslie

  5. Jung’s theory of everyone having a shadow side is a shock when we become aware of our own. Knowing ourselves is quite a challenge. But becoming aware of it gives us a bit more understanding of human flaws. I find I can forgive, but it doesn’t make sense to trust anymore.

  6. I am far from perfect, but I try to live inwardly and outwardly by the standard of kindness. ‘Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”. That is not exactly the truth you are speaking of, but more a guiding truth, or a compass point for me. Unfortunately, things happen which make me lose my compass point eg Trump and pals. I actually hate that I dislike him so much. A Buddhist monk suggested I try practicing loving kindness when Trump annoys me. But, gosh, that is hard. So there you are… I try, I fail, I try again.

    • Lady-G, MILLE MERCI for your frank comment… ❤ speakin' of perfection, you may recall my T-shirt "Perfect is boring!" 🙂 I've simply elaborated about lying, hiding the truth, and other "alternative facts"… 😉 what I really wanted to point out is our betrayed trust which can deeply hurt for we've been totally sincere, open, honest…
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      as for the POTUS, he still has lots of supporters and worshippers, alas! 😦 I do respect Buddhist monks, but then again, they live far-away from the "madding crowd", we're all unique and each of us functions/reacts differently in the same situation or circumstance…

      • Yes, I was a bit off topic, but I was trying, as is my usual way, to consider your post from various angles. At the moment I am reading a 1944 best seller called Earth and High Heaven by Canadian Gwethalyn Graham. The story is about a young Canadian woman who falls in love with a Jewish lawyer. She is deeply shocked when her dearly loved father reveals himself to be anti-semitic. I don’t yet know how the story ends but I suspect not well for any of the protagonists.

    • Simple kindness doesn’t sound all that powerful, but think how it would change the world if everyone practiced it! I have come to understand how people with limited imagination lack empathy and if born rich, simply have no clue about how life is for others. I have also found that the extremely rich mostly don’t think any rules apply to them. Trump really thought being president would be like being total owner and CEO. I may understand that, but having someone like Trump as the most powerful person in the world is absolutely terrifying.

      • all I can say is RIP, brave and beautiful Heather Heyer… She was murdered by trump’s neo-Nazi supporters for standing up against hate, racism, bigotry…

      • And simple kindness really is quite hard in many situations. Recently I read a 1945 New Zealand best seller called ‘Gunner Inglorious’ by Jim Henderson. It is the true account of Jim’s time in battle, his capture by Germans in North Africa, and his time in hospital and in a POW camp in Italy. He records many acts of kindness by enemies, fellow prisoners, civilians, hospital staff… under extremely difficult conditions. His story moved me to tears. Kindness in those conditions often required bravery. And, yes, Trump, is truly terrifying, as are the KKK, the alt right, neo-Nazis and the rest of their ilk. It wouldn’t surprise me if some of them think WW2 is a conspiracy theory, and never happened.

        • impressive, emotional and touching comment, Lady-G… ❤ yes, kindness may be related to bravery – in certain situations, like the one in "Gunner Inglorious"… in fact, what's kindness? – the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate… but in French, there are other synonymes: gentillesse, bonté, amabilité, bienveillance, tendresse, complaisance, prévenance…
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          unfortunately, among all those "specimens" you've mentioned, there are lots of them who strongly believe in conspiracy theories, hélas… 😦

  7. I did a post on it, too. Outstanding photos. So happy you used them! 🙂 Very wise words.

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